Nineveh

 The imagery of the biblical story about Jonah and the whale was intriguing as a child. Being in the belly of a whale would surely shake most of us to our core while leading one to abandon or at least reconsider prior objections. Trapped in circumstances beyond one’s control, it would be more difficult to ignore God’s request and even present Nineveh as an appealing alternative. Before the whale incident, was Jonah able to justify having a different perspective? Before being consumed, had there been other opportunities to reconsider his decision? At this point in my life, I have begun to experience a degree of empathy for Jonah. There is a humility in being in an undesirable situation. It has the capacity to lead us to new ways of being. Being spit out by the whale redirects our intentions and, in the best of circumstances, provides a new capacity to follow the God-led path before us. 

I fell in love with reading as a child. As an introvert, books were less demanding than people. At some point, reading led to an appreciation of language and the ability to express my thoughts. I began writing and presenting my own words through a ministry for high school students. With no interest in becoming a vowed woman religious, how could I apply these skills professionally?

As the daughter of educators, my going to college was a given. Of my top three choices, I chose Xavier University of Louisiana because it was the only Catholic HBCU in the western hemisphere. As an African-American Catholic in a racially segregated society struggling to come to terms with new ways of being, I wanted to encounter other young people like myself.

Knowing which field of study truly spoke to me was a challenge. As an undergraduate, I changed my major three times. The desire for one more change was dismissed because of my desire to finish school in as close to four years as possible, and my younger siblings were preparing for their college journeys. 

While living in Atlanta in the early 1980s, I used my voice to write a letter to members of the State’s legislative body. Irrate that legislators were considering honoring Martin Luther King, Jr. on the same day they recognized Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis, was ludicrous. Responding to my angst and frustration through writing was empowering, but this was an isolated moment or was it?

Before entering graduate school I did a lot of reading on African-Americans including those who had made significant accomplishments in Alabama during Reconstruction. Looking back, I wonder if this did not become an academic interest because I never wanted to give the flawed construct of race more attention than it already commanded. Did I dismiss it all because of being in another region of the country – a region whose history of race was not so familiar to me? Even so, I cherished exploring a second hand bookstore where I discovered Paula Giddings’ When and Where I Enter. The book was intriguing but why did it not redirect me?

The first job requiring the use of my “voice” was writing ceremonial documents for the mayor. The process required the same stillness applied in writing and designing an inspirational  greeting card collection. Practicing stillness in the workplace was new to me, and the work was gratifying. Unfortunately circumstances beyond my control, including the tragedies of September 11, 2001, offered unforeseen challenges.

Many people approach the age of 60 my age preparing to retire. For me, I feel as though I am finally doing what is mine to do. I have no idea of how it will unfold, but that is not important. Since returning home almost six years ago, I have been surprised by unexpected opportunities to use my voice to speak clearly and forcibly on the construct of race and white supremacy. 

My last experience with unemployment when my position with the Archdiocese of Atlanta was eliminated. It was the second time in which that I had experienced a knowing that I was doing what was mine to do. Working for the institutional church is something that I had long resisted. Volunteering in various ministries was an important part of my life but being a church employee was not intriguing. This changed in 2007 when through JustFaith, I learned about Catholic social justice. God had my attention in a new way.

My journey to Nineveh has two components in tandem: returning home and using my voice. The graces experienced during this period at home are beyond what I could have imagined. I do see now where the experiences of my life, especially those of the past two decades, have led me to this moment, this place. There are so many others not reflected in this piece. 

As long as breath is in the body, my words – written and spoken – will be used to address the violent system of race and white body supremacy from my faith perspective and my lived experience. This is the path before me and the work I am to do. Through my journey to Nineveh, I hope to plant seeds of empowerment so others may use their own voices to speak of and question the evil system that is as pervasive as the air we breathe.